What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will be naked everywhere
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
