You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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