i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
