I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
