weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
