So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
there is puke in my bra ... again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
