Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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