So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
