Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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