Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
