We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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