gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
