So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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