Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
