i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
