My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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