I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
