you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
