There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
