69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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