I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
