I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
