i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
