...so i touched it.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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