Whod you bang
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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