omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
