"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
