I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
