I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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