I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
