I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
