OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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