I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
