I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
