You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
