He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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