So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
