My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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