So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
