Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
