I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
