did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
