Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
