Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
