sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
