My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't deserve a penis
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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