We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
