the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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