my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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