whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am spending my child support on dildos
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
