You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She said her name was "party"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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