it wasn't lemon gatorade
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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