We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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